Believe

wow... lately situation around me is just so weird...
i wonder why?
was it a spiritual attack?
or what?
a good friend of mine is trying to kill himself because of a girl...
a housemate of mine was drunk last nite and said she wanted to die....
my prayer for financial breakthrough seems getting no where, it even gone worse...
the school didn't want to refund my money, instead they took that rm 11.500 that was supposed to be for next semester fees...
my relatives in Jogjakarta was facing this crisis because of the earthquake...
my country are in pain...

yet...

i thank God that everyday God always provide me with breakfast, lunch and dinner...
He provided me the smallest things and never letting me in a "not enough" situation...

i thank God for His grace of faith because I believe my fees for next semester is already paid...

i thank God that none of my relative in Jogjakarta passed away, they are all saved!!

i thank God that my housemate had a good nite sleep after that horrible scene and she was able to wake up with a smile

i thank God that my good friend still alive until today...

God told me that He's my strength
and yes indeed He is the strength of my heart...
my portion and my refuge...
Despite all the situation, i believe! I can only believe!
I have no other choice except to believe
I am not able not to believe that He cannot or He wont make away for me...
I know that I have a choice...
And i choose to BELIEVE...

time for self-introspection

hu hu...it's been quite some times since my last post...
been a little bit busy with the presentation, but thank God i finally finish it!
Amazingly, i've manage to type 4,447 words withing 1,5 days without sleeping...
Far more, all the praises goes to one Man that made it all possible...Jesus!
I had my presentation last Thursday, a moment of truth...
Nervous? Of course! Yet God gave me strength and peace...at the end...He gave me a good finish...My lecture told me i've did well, i've done a good job and didn't see why i shouldn't be a successful woman in the future...
It's all God! It's all God... 1 thing He promise us who believe in Him and put 100% trust is that He will make us the head not the tale, above not beneath... He has a future for u and me that full of hope... And i believe that! :)

niweizzz 'bout my title...
lately i felt that situation around me just reminded me to do a self-introspection and i've been thinking quite much specially when a friend dear to my heart is involved :(...
hu..hu...hu.... no matter what God is still good...so good that everything will be alrite :)...

mommie's days

what a day it is to have known that I have the best mom in the world.
no matter how harsh she may have been, how ‘bawel’ (sorry, I forgot the English hehehe) she is most of the times and how pushy she is sometimes...but she's still my best mom in the world..
without her strength, courage, patient, passion, sacrifices, love and prayer; I wouldn't be here alive and become who I am today...

I still remember the time when I really hate my mom and I left a mark on her photo, yet now that was the photo I kept until today...her beautiful soul has cover all my hatred and God's grace has restore my relationship with her... her courage has made our family stick together for more than 25 years, her strength has lifted my sorrows, her tears made me understand the world she carried today, her love has made our house a home and her never ending prayer has made us closer to God...

to many who don't know her, she may be a pain in the head...
but to me, she's my hero
to many she is just an ordinary person
but to me, she is more than extra ordinary person....

I believe that God never make a mistake to have given me mommy Lucy as my mom
I’m sure my sister and brother would agree with me, and even my daddy...
hu hu hu... missing youuu so much mommieeee....

- loving u much from here-

m.a.l.a.y.s.i.a
14.05.06

It all begins with you --> part 1

Again I was reminded from last Saturday live @ 5 services that what we do today and what we decide to do or act today determine our future. In Deuteronomy 8: 7-9 & 1, it is not about the vision from God or about whether God can do it or not, but it is about the step that is taken from the vision. You see, God gave each person a different vision & mission that needs to be completed, but the outcome depends on the respond and what action that took place.

Do you remember about this verse: “what you soar is what you reap?” I bet this sounds familiar to everyone who know and or read the bible hehehe.. Any way there’s a verse about that… It is important for us to know what kind of seeds we planted and how we water it. It all begins with our attitudes toward situations and people surround us. Are we giving a good example? Are we holding on to what we believe is true according to God’s commandments? When we are able to identify this, we will be able to go to the next level. However, going to the next level is not as easy as flipping your hand. It takes preparation and it better be good.
It is important for us to stay focus. What does it mean by focus? Well, literally you probably know about it, but there is more to that. FOCUS also means offering up our life to Jesus. Offering means give a full authority to God to take control in our lives, in any circumstances in life, including relationships, family, financial, study, work, etc. When you love someone or when you actually hate someone, you can over that person or people to God. Offering does not mean you want God to take away that person from your life (a.k.a ask him/her / them to die hehe), but it simply means to surrender that person/people in God’s hand and believe in Him that He will take care of it ☺.

And this is the sentences that strike me most:
“You have to start to do something that you don’t like to do; it begins with the small-small things in life”

I thought to myself, wow that is so true. Most of the time I only do what I want to do, what I like to do and what I’m comfortable to do. Most of the time I reach out to my close friends and not to my friends that I know she’s in need. Reason being because I was too tired to go up to the 13th floor and just have a short conversation or even go to another block just to be their friends (such excuses!). I guess I’m already in my comfort zone. Having to take care 4 children is tiring enough...adding another 2?
But then this message really waking me up. I realize that I needed to take action and starts to enlarge my “family” in Millennium where I stay. I realize I needed to start giving responsibility to my eldest & second daughter, Maureen & Hester to start to seeds, and I myself have to over up my tiredness to the Lord and ask for strength and wisdom to lead more people to God. I was reminded to be more responsible, to overcome my flesh and get out from the comfort zone.

So in conclusion
1. It is important to have the seeds in our hands and to know what God want us to do in our life. To realize what kinda seeds you have.. Atttitude, dude…that’s what count…
2. In between seeding and harvest there’s watering time. How can the seed grow is you don’t water it. This is about how you gonnna soar? Again God is after our attitudes & character.
3. You gotta plant more seeds & meet more needs. Expect more of God’s work. Don’t just stop anywhere. Acts 20:35

IT ALL BEGINS WITH YOU…

sowieee

hu hu hu...
this week i'll be very seldom to go online coz i'm not working anymore so be very seldom to post...butt i save some of the post..it's only a matter of finishing it and then post it...hehehe...
so be pattient yakkkk...

*if there's people reading it ;p*

the JoY of Letting Go

May 3rd, 2006

It's been exactly a year since me and him broke up...many things happened and many lessons i've learned that changed me and made me who i am today...
And since a year ago I never stop thinking, hoping & praying for him, me and us...
I've always thought that he's the one for me..That this so called "break up" was only for temporary purposes to prepare ourselves to become a mature couple in Christ in the future

For quite momment I pray with sadness and tears..But when I draw myself closer to God, I start to know that this "breaking up" is a time for me to prepare myself to be a better person, a responsible woman of God, a good wife and a good mom according to God's standard...

I'm not trying to promote myself nor to make people pitty on me...It is hard for me to share this..But I wanna share the Joy of Letting Go someone dear to my heart... Letting go doesn't always mean forgetting or ignorance..It's about Believing in God's promisess that everything in life happened for God's beautiful purposes..

Just this Sunday (30th April 2006), very early in the morning, I recieved a news from him that he was with someone else now...When I heard that, I was sad...But I thank God coz at that moment God gave me strength to smile and be happy for him... The same early morning as I pray, I felt joy, peace and relief beyond words because I know that God will only give me the best

Friends, I know it is hurting if we can't be with someone that we love, it is paiful to lose...
But if you didn't let go, you'll never know the joy you can find when you put your beloved one and your hurt onto God's Altar...you'll find true happiness & peace in Him
Keep on believing & hold on tight to God's promisess coz He never fails

For I know the thoughts that I think

toward you, says the Lord, thoughts

of peace and not of evil, to give you

a future and a hope

(Jeremia 29: 11)

But as it is written:

"Eyes has not seen, nor ear heard,

Nor have entered into the heart of man

The things which God has prepared

for those who love Him"

(1 Chorinthians 2: 9)

We'll be well my friends...